Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
