i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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