would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
