I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
