Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
