he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I just gift wrapped bread.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
