would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
