??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize