Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
