I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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