oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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