I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
