Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
