its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize