I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
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I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
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I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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