There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
My breasts were aching with rage.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
