dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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