Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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