I will die if light touches me.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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