He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Randomize
