i love accidental penises.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
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