Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize