dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
