I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
This is my gift to your gina
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
