i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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