you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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