sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
please come you make the beer taste better
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
