:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
