I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
