There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
