dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
