wakey wakey hands off snakey
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
barbara walters just said penis...
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
