I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
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