My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
