I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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