Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Randomize
