so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
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Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
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I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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