took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
It's rum buckets o'clock
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
