White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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