3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
