He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
