I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I skipped work to stalk him.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
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we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
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Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow