it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I will pee on everything he values.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running