Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize