whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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