I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Randomize
