I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
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Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
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My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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