I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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