I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
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Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
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I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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