He kissed a someone with a penis
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
