mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
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