the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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