WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
