According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
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No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
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Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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